


Fight For Affection

by Mystery_Name



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Funny, Humerous, Wade and Johnny fight over her, crackfic, er....more like crack poem I guess, fem!Peter Parker - Freeform, fem!Spider-Man - Freeform, just meant for humor, something not to take too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:47:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystery_Name/pseuds/Mystery_Name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A funny, crackfic poem about how Deadpool and Human Torch clash while fighting to gain the attention and affection of the infamous and lovely...Spider-Girl! </p><p>Seriously, this is mostly meant for humor and not something to be taken too serious. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fight For Affection

It was a warm New York afternoon, with a sky bright with sun hues.

  
Where a Spider-themed hero stood, clad in red and blue.

  
She looked over the building up high, watching for trouble

As two other heroes stood nearby, invading her personal bubble.

  
One a rich boy, who could sear you with a scorch,

  
The handsome and famous, Johnny, the Human Torch.

  
The other flirtatious, skillful, with high levels of cool,

  
The fun, yet insane, Wade, aka Deadpool.

  
The trio had spent the whole day fighting villains and crime,

  
But the two male heroes were arguing, for the one-hundredth time!

  
Petra Parker, tired, was very annoyed

  
You see, their company she really had enjoyed

  
But now she wished it was something she could avoid.

  
"Would you just stop?" she finally said, "Just give it a rest!

  
I really don't care, who you think is best!"

  
The other heroes muttered under their breath, an exasperated "Fine."

  
For their dear Spidey, they couldn't decline.

  
She went back to scouting, watching as best she can,

  
When there was a whoosh and a clunk-Look, here's Iron-Man!

  
Them a thundering boom, a clatter and clang

  
The billionaire playboy settled on the roof with a bang.

  
"I'm having a party," he announced with slight frustration,

  
He handed them all a...home-made invitation?

  
"What is this?" Laughed Wade, holding up the paper with glee

  
"This looks done by someone whose three!"

  
Tony scowled, "They weren't my idea, I wanted an awesome map!"

  
For these invitations, you can blame Cap."

  
For the super solider, though full of compassion,

  
Still had an ounce, a drop, of something old fashioned.

  
Johnny laughed loudly, "Don't let him boss you, I don't let Reed,"

  
Tony held up a repulser, so instead Johnny began to read:

  
_**Come to a Party, if you don't your a nut** _

  
_**Its a celebration for the Avengers, for kicking Ultron's metal butt!** _

  
_**Its at Avengers Tower, all superheroes can come,** _

  
_**Its hard being a hero, so come have some fun.** _

  
_**Its a formal party, but we're staying out late,** _

  
_**Oh and don't forget, bring a date!** _

 

Johnny finished reading, Wade had a smirk,

  
The kind that reveals, he's a little berserk.

  
"So Spidey," he said "want to be my date?"

  
But Johnny frantically interrupted, "Don't take his bait!

  
"Come with me, we'll have way more fun."

  
Wade was offended, so he brought out his gun.

  
"I'm not taking this!" Petra said, as they argued once more,

With a thwip she was gone, so they could settle the score.

  
Johnny sparked with fire, Wade began to defuse

  
Tony just watched, completely amused.

  
"She's coming with me," Johnny said, Wade replied, "Please, you'll only make her yawn!"

  
Tony interrupted, "Both of you can't, Spidey's already gone."

  
The other two heroes glanced around, eyes wide and keen

  
And it was true, Spidergirl was no where to be seen.

  
They argued again, but it turned into contest, against the hero foes

  
Tony was concerned, "She's still a human you know!"

  
For the contest was simple, it would be bliss,

  
The winner only won with a Spidery kiss.

  
Confident and cocky, the heroes split paths,

  
Tony hovered there, slightly aghast.

* * *

 

Now at the party, with heroes galore.

  
Wolverine, Captain America-LOOK! I see Thor!

  
Wade and Johnny waited for a Petra to walk in,

  
When finally she did, and they stared without sin.

  
Petra was dressed, in fine silk, and lace,

  
They felt their mouths drop, at her humble glowing face.

  
Hearts thumping wild, hormones shot dead,

  
They wanted to move forward, but their feet felt like lead. 

 

To be continued.... (maybe)

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me what's up with this, I don't know. I got bored, after reading some Spideypool and Spideytorch this sprouted up. Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Its was simply for humorous reason, so if you laughed-then I succeeded. I don't know if I'll finish, I might, so we'll see. Drop me a comment ;) thanks!


End file.
